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How to stop fighting with my partner constantly: 8 tips
Relationships are always complicated, because living with people with whom you share a lot is always. Emotional involvement, expectations of future plans and the fact of having to share tasks are potential sources of conflict, to which we also have to add other sacrifices related to courtship and marriage.
This makes many people consider ... how to stop fighting so much with my partner on a day-to-day basis? In this article we will see several tips on how to manage coexistence between people in love, making discussions less frequent.
Related article: "How to know when to go to couples therapy? 5 compelling reasons"
How to stop fighting so much with my partner?
Follow these guidelines to better regulate communication and emotions in your relationship, adapting these ideas to your specific case.
1. Control your expectations
You should not assume that the goal is never to argue with your partner anymore, because that is unrealistic. The fact of adopting the expectation of maintaining an ideal relationship in which everything is constantly smiles can be, in itself, a reason for conflict, something that predisposes us to frustrate ourselves and to get angry at any detail and imperfection.
2. Don't save anything important
Avoiding conflict by hiding information is also something that can aggravate the problem, causing the chain of lies created to hide that generate discomfort and eventually anger when unpleasant surprises appear.
3. Adopt constructive attitudes
Some people confuse to point out that the other has done something wrong with humiliating the other because he has done something wrong. The first is necessary so that this behavior is not repeated again, but the second only serves to make the other person defensive, reaffirm and believe that he has not done anything wrong.
It is a phenomenon that occurs through a process known as cognitive dissonance: if the other person shows a very bad image of us, one that deserves mockery, then the other person is wrong and as a consequence is not right to criticize our behavior.
4. Avoid mixing reproaches
It is important that, when complaining about something, we refer only to what we are criticizing at that time, and that we do not take advantage of that as an excuse to bring up the subject of an earlier discussion in order to have more ammunition with which to attack the other person. The latter is not honest, does not serve to solve the problem and also favors the emergence of conflicts.
5. Show affection
This is a basic piece of advice: since you love the other person, show it through everyday signs of love. If not, the only thing that will be evident is frustration and discontent in the moments when it is discussed, but not love. Therefore, the relationship can become a battlefield.
In short, it is important to be clear that love is not something that is taken for granted; It must be expressed.
6. Talk a lot about what's happening to you
Another of the tips on how to stop arguing so much is based on the idea that many times these clashes are caused by a lack of communication. This causes one of the members of the couple to remain in ignorance regarding an issue that, if known, would be important, and that when they know about it, it makes them wonder why this lack of transparency is due: lack of trust ? Inability to think about the other person? Disinterest in your point of view?
7. Put a limit on humor
Some people confuse humor with constantly ridiculing the other person. Not only does this not make sense, but in practice it can become something that significantly damages the couple, and that in extreme and frequent cases it can be considered a type of psychological abuse, just as happens with gaslighting.
One thing is to laugh with one person, and the other is to laugh at the person. Humor cannot be a shield with which to cover cruelty and attacks on the dignity of the other, because that generates frustrations and anger, and more importantly, damages the victim.
8. Talk about your priorities
Knowing the concerns and interests of the other person is essential to understand what moves them to act. Being aware of the mental world of the other makes it possible to draw up joint plans more easily and that a situation does not occur in which the needs of one are subject to those of the other, with the consequent resentment and accumulated frustrations.
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